The Demons Inside my Head
by IamMyselfIamMe
Summary: It was just a normal mission until the end, where she was kidnaped by the last dark mage... In order to help and save Lucy, Fairy Tail must call on a other guild, Sabertooth, for help. What will happen to Lucy? Will there be love with another Dragon-Slayer? Will Lucy be saved?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - No One Knew Her Real Past

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><p>? P.O.V.<p>

_'I hate myself.'_

"Hey Mira! How are you today?" I forced out a sweet smile.

"I'm great! How about you?" Mira said as she leaned forward on the bar counter a little.

_'I feel awful. I want to kill myself.'_ "I'm good. Just a little tired, that's all." I forced out another smile.

"Well, you should leave a little earlier today so that you can get some more sleep. Anyway, what can I get you today?" The barmaid replied happily while standing up straighter.

_'Poison, I want poison.'_ "Can I get... a sweet vanilla smoothie with a slight lemon and strawberry flavoring, along with a small ham sandwich?"

"So you mean the normal? Yeah, I'll get it for you. Just wait a bit and I'll be back with your order." She called over her shoulder while walking into the kitchen that was a few feet away.

"Kk." Was all that I said.

"Wanna do a mission today?" I turn around to see Natsu standing there.

"Maybe, what's the mission about?" I ask, not completely trusting the pink-haired baka in front of me.

"Well... it's in a town that's a few miles away." He started, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. I sighed.

"Hand it over." He did with no argument. I looked down at the mission paper and read aloud.

**_"'Mages needed to defeat 3 bandits that are robbing and destroying our town.  
><em>****_1 of them is a mage that has magic and is very powerful. Magic unknown.  
><em>****_500,000 Jewels for payment  
><em>****_Town - Sandfored Knawing _**

**_Thank you'"_**

"Is this our next mission? Looks easy enough." I turn to see Erza standing there along with Grey. I gave a fake smile to them.

"Yeah, it's more than enough for all of us. Though that might be a good thing..." Grey trailed off at the end, probably thinking about our last few missions.

"Yes, it is a good thing... You know, in case we make a mess.." I forced out a laughed.

"Lucy, are you alright?" I give her a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm just a little tried today that's all. You don't need to worry." _'No, I'm not alright.'_

"Just tell me if somethings wrong, okay? You need to be in tip - top shape if we're going on a mission." The red-head smiled at me.

"Okay."

"Here you go Lucy. Your food and smoothie is ready." I turn back to the bar to see Mira smiling while placing my food in front of me.

"Thanks Mira." I put a fake smile on my face.

"No problem. Do you guys want me to sign that mission off for you?" She said while pointing to the mission paper that was still in my hands.

"Yeah, tell the clients that we'll be there tomorrow around noon, will you?" Erza spoke while taking the paper from me and handing it to Mira.

"So what time should we meet up at the train station?" I ask trying to be optimistic.

"How about I go see the times for when the train comes and goes?" Grey asks while taking off his shirt.

"You should do that... after you put your clothes back on... baka." I reply.

"What do you-" He looks down. "When did this happen?" Mira started laughing along with Erza at his confused face.

"...Luce, is something wrong?" This comment got everyone's attention.

"What do you mean, Natsu?" I asked, hoping that he didn't find out about my secret.

"When I looked into your eyes earlier, you looked like you wanted to die." The whole guild went silent at that comment.

_'Shit!'_

"Lucy, are you alright? Is there someone or something that needs to be punished or killed?" Erza asks, re-quipping one of her swords and starts looking around for something to beat up.

_'No, I'm not alright. I'm the one who needs to be punished and killed.' _"No, no. I'm fine, just a little tired, that's all! Please calm down... If something was wrong, I would tell you." I say, waving my arms around when my sleeve moves up a bit and shows my wrist.

"Oh my god... LUCY!" Levy-chan screams while throwing her book to the ground and running over to me.

"Lucy-nee!" Romeo and Wendy scream out, running over and hugging my legs.

_'OH NO! How am I going to explain the cuts? Shit, shit, shit!'_ I start screaming in my head about what I'm going to do when Erza's voice brings me back to reality.

"Lucy, who did this to you? I will kill them for sure!"

"..." _'I will not answer.'_

"Lucy! Why didn't you tell me?" Mira cries out, pulling me into her embrace.

"..." _'I-I refuse to answer.'_

"Luce, what's wrong?" Natsu asks softly.

Silent tears make their way down my checks as I press my lips tightly together, trying my hardest to not start sobbing.

"Lulu, please talk to me." Cana whispers, softly wipping away my tears.

"..." _'I-I will n-not talk, I-I will s-stay s-strong.'_ My legs start shaking and Lisanna comes up and leans me on her shoulder.

"Just let it all out, I'm here for you." She tells me in my ears and the dam inside me breaks and I start sobbing, saying over and over again that I'm sorry.

"Shhh, it's okay, shhh. I'm here for you, we're here for you." Lisanna whispers inside my ear.

"I-I'm s-so s-so-sorry, I d-didn't m-mean t-to. I-I d-didn't m-mean for m-m-mama t-to d-die." I said over and over again like a broken record.

"You didn't do it Lucy, you didn't do it." I heard someone tell me before I let the darkness take over.

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><p>Normal P.O.V. Twenty Minutes After Lucy Pasted Out<p>

"How is she?" Mira asked her youngest sibling.

"She's still asleep, though she won't stop crying..." Lisanna sighed, covering her eyes with her hand.

"What happened to her in her past..." Levy whispered to herself, not noticing Gajeel sitting next to her, having a worried expression on his face.

"Natsu, how long has Lucy been acting like this?" Master demanded.

"I... I don't know..." The Fire-Dragon-Slayer whispered before looking up towards the infirmary door.

"Grey, what about you?" Master asked after a moment.

"I don't have an answer." The Ice-Make mage walked away.

Master Makarov then turned to Erza, who was sitting at a table not to far away with her head on it.

"Erza?" He called out.

"Hai?" Her voice muffled by the table.

"Do you know how long Lucy been acting like this?" Erza sat up and stared at him straight in the eye.

"You mean kinda depressed and upset?" Master's eyes widened and the guild quieted down a bit.

"Yes. Yes that is what I mean." Erza sighed sadly.

"Before we finished last mission, Lucy was kidnapped by the last dark mage. When we found her one hour later, she was covered in cuts and bruises and was also knocked-out... We never told you guys because Lucy begged us not to..." She paused, not talking about it for a few minutes.

"Continue the story!" Mira yelled out.

"I don't know about the other two, but when Lucy woke up the next, her eyes, they had lost some of the light in them. Ever since then, I have kept a close eye on her... Every night, she cries herself to sleep, saying over and over again that she was sorry... Every day, she slowly starves herself... I never knew about the cutting though..." She starred to cry as she slowly got up and walked to the infirmary were she disappeared inside.

"We, we never noticed..."

"I'm sorry Lu-chan..."

"I should of... I should of payed more attention to her..."

"Lucy-nee..."

"Bunny Girl, I'm sorry..."

"Blondie..."

"My child, we will fix this..."

"Luce, I'm sorry that I didn't pay attention more..."

"We will help you, no matter what."

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><p>Hey y'all, how are you guys doing? Well, I'm doing better, if you would like to know. Anyways.. What did you think of my new story? Should I continue it or what? Though you should be warned, I'm only going to update this once or twice a month.<p>

Natsu: You've forgotten about us, you stupid author!

Wendy: Do you hate us? *Starts to tear up*

Me: NO NO! Have guys not read chapter 6 for _Fallen Angel_? I have been having lots of problems lately!

Erza: It's okay, I was never mad at you

Lucy: Infact only Natsu was annoyed, no one else

Wendy: Sorry Self-chan, I wanted to do a prank on you, please don't be mad

Me: Don't worry Wendy, I could never be mad at you :3

?: So am I going to be in the story

Me: Yes, I just need to find a way to incorporate you in to the story... I dont know exactly how yet. Though I do have some good ideas... Anyway Erza do the disclaimer!

Erza: Sure, Chels-san does not own Fairy Tail, please rate and review.

Me: On the count of three

1

2

3

Everybody: GOOD~BYE MINNA


	2. I am so so so sorry

For all you out there that have reviewed, followed, favorited, and P. me and my stories have I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart...

This is not an update... I don't know how long it will be until I am able to update or write for any of my stories... No it's not school that's making so I can't. It's myself, but to be more exact, I mean the demons the reside in my mind.

Anyone of you that gone through depression and thoughts of suicide and have made it though it so you have a happy life again or just have a happy life, I am so very proud of you, yet slightly jealous of you at the same time. I have almost taken my own life several times just this month... Nothing helps the empty feeling inside of my chest.

Not to long ago, I was told by someone very important to me, that she wished that she was feeling how I feel and I almost screamed at the top of my lungs. I don't care if I have never met any of you, I never want ANYBODY on this planet to feel this way, I wouldn't even wish it upon the people I loathe most.

Please don't get angry with me, I really want to write more for you guys... but even as I write this for you, It hurts to take each breath that I need to continue living...

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.

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Good bye for now and I hope that you guys will forgive me


	3. I want to say something

Should I delete my stories? Then start over in another fandom? I have a poll up about whether or not I should keep a certain or give it up. I've been reading fanfictions from Naruto, Inuyasha, Soul Eater, and Supernatural.

To be honest with you guys, I've lost all inspiration for my Fairy Tail stories, along with focusing on saving money up for college and working on my homework... I don't think that I can make something worth reading. I suck at writing and I can't find a Beta to help me inprove. Though I will apologize for taking so long to put this up.

On another note, I thank every single person who has taken the time out of their day to send me a message(s) to help me. I'm so very happy to say that I no longer want to injure myself and that I love myself again; I never thought that I'd be able to say that again and you guys have helped me be able to say that.

Again, _THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!_

~IamMyselfIamMe


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